Our pastor told a story in a sermon a year or so ago that I will always remember because Bob and I could so relate. In fact, as soon as Mickey said the punchline Bob elbowed me and grinned from ear to ear. To my chagrin, that silly grin stayed on his face for the next week- or maybe just for a couple of minutes- but either way, it was annoying.
And so the story goes: A woman who had been married for 25 years was terrified by the thought of someone breaking into their house in the middle of the night. She would wake up her husband whenever she heard a sound in or around the house, convinced that someone was breaking in. Her worst nightmare finally came true one night when they were awakened by the sound of someone trying to break through the front door. Her husband got out of bed, marched to the front door, opened it and exclaimed, "You're finally here! We've been expecting you for the past 25 years!"
Yes, I am a card carrying scare-dy cat! While the fear of being physically harmed is a real and even healthy fear, it can be blown way out of proportion. Marketers know this. Have you seen any of those security system adds lately? You know the ones. They show a woman alone (or with a child) in her house at night when a masked man suddenly breaks through the kitchen door. My reaction is always, "We need an alarm system asap!" while Bob just roles his eyes and mumbles something about women being the target market. Whatever.
So what are your fears? What do have nightmares about? What keeps you up at night? One of our recent Sunday School discussions from Tim Keller's book/study guide/DVD series Gospel in Life; Grace Changes Everything , which we are working our way through, came to mind after this week's sermon entitled "What drives our fears?" The session that week focused on idolatry. I send out a "teaser" email to the class every week regarding that week's topic. Below is a snippet of that week's email.
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The word "idolatry" may bring up images in your mind of golden calves and statues of false gods but, as our book/study guide (Gospel in Life) says, "if anything but Christ is your source of salvation, you are falling into idolatry. Whether you sacrifice to a statue or seek to merit heaven through conscientious morality, you are setting up something besides God as your ultimate hope, and it will enslave you." (page 39).
Here are some other thoughts from the book:
"Idols are powerless things that are all about getting power. The more you seek power through them, however, the more they drain you of strength. Idols bring about terrible spiritual blindness of heart and mind (Isa. 44:9, 18), and the idolater is self-deluded through a web of lies (Isa. 44:20). Also, idols bring about slavery." (page 38)
"This passage (Romans 1:18-25) tells us that the reason we create idols is because we want to control our lives, though we know that we owe God everything." "Since we need to worship something because of how we are created, we cannot eliminate God without creating God-substitutes." (page 39).
"... the only way to walk in holiness, love, and truth is to keep free from idols. They are mutually exclusive. Underlying any failure to walk in holiness is some form of idolatry." (page 40)
Taken from an essay by Richard Keyes, The Idol Factory:
All sorts of things are potential idols... If this is so, how do we determine when something is becoming or has become an idol?... As soon as our loyalty to anything leads us to disobey God, we are in danger of making it an idol... An idol can be a physical object, a property, a person, an activity, a role, an institution, a hope, an image, an idea, a pleasure, a hero...
-Work... can become an idol if it is pursued so exclusively that responsibilities to one's family are ignored.
-Family... can become an idol if one is so preoccupied with the family that no one outside of one's own family is cared for.
-Being well-liked... becomes an idol if an attachment to it means that one never risks disapproval.
In identifying our own idols, here are some questions to think about: What do I worry about most? What do I rely on or comfort myself with when things go badly or become difficult? What makes me feel the most self-worth? What am I the proudest of? What do I really want and expect out of life? What would really make me happy?
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This study really challenged me to think about what my idols are and the questions above were helpful (although I do think that most of us know what they are without having to dig too deeply).
In the book, Keller includes a table of four different types of idolatry: power, approval, comfort and control. For example, if you seek control (self-discipline, certainty, standards) your greatest nightmare is uncertainty, people around you often feel condemned and your problem emotion is worry (p44).
There are, of course, many other types of idolatry. A few more that he mentions are "Achievement idolatry" (my life has meaning/I only have worth if I am being recognized for my accomplishments, and I am excelling in my work); "Family idolatry" (Life only has meaning/I only have worth if my children and/or my parents are happy and happy with me); and "Helping idolatry" (Life only has meaning/I only have worth if people are dependent on me and need me.) (p43).
His point is that your inordinate fears, worries, anxieties (and, of course, desires) are rooted in your idols. In our class discussion we talked about our nightmares- the things that keep us up at night whether through actual dreams or our thoughts. Several people said that work causes them to lose sleep and several said anxiety about their kids.
One woman in the class, who lives alone, mentioned that she has nightmares about her house being broken into. (I assured her that she wasn't alone!) Which brought up a good point. To be an idol, the fear or desire has to go above and beyond the ordinary. Of course, fear of physical harm is totally normal. Totally.
So, how do we displace our idols? Keller writes, "to replace idols, you must learn to rejoice in the particular thing Jesus provides that replaces that particular idol of your heart. Whenever you see your heart in the grip of some kind of disobedience or misery, some temptation, anxiety, anger, etc., always ask, (1) How are these effects being caused by an inordinate hope for someone or something to give me what only Jesus can really give me? and (2) How does Christ give me so much more fully and graciously and suitably the very things I am looking for elsewhere? Next, rejoice and consider what he has done and what he has given you."
Romans 6:14 Sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace.
